Today went really well. The kids are starting to see where the line is and I must be strong about this. I remember thinking that the Lord is going to help me with this, and I did feel much better. I went back to class and it was ok. I need to organize things more and get more of a system down for them. Also, I need to change the bulletin boards in the hallways, etc. I am getting to this point but not where it should be. It seems that I am falling behind as usual. Tomorrow, I will just spend all day trying to make up for what I missed. Most of the kids did well on their first reading test. I still have two more to test. I am not keeping a written grade since most of our work in on the assessment.
The only thing that I accomplished at home was to do some bible study and weigh myself. I gained 3 pounds. So.....now I am 73 pounds overweight. Everyone tells me I am melting away. I don't see it. I want to be 200 by my birthday....nov. 8. Slow and steady.
I do have to think about Jacob's Eagle party and also homecoming for David is Saturday. I want to take lots of pictures. I will post these on Facebook.
I talked with my brother about the possibility that my sister did some talking with my aunt. She would not return Rod's message. This is the second time. She did this also with a neighbor and I am finding it very hard to find forgiveness in this. If only I could....it has been so long now. I am still angry and upset that she would find a nursing home as a place to live her life. I got to remember I am not in control of this. This summer I thought about stopping writing or giving her a letter. I even put in my last card that the nurses will give her a stamp and she could write. I don't know if I will ever trust her. I know I need to work on this.
Next, it still bothers me about Ruth and DeeDee. Ruth didn't even tell me when Alice died. I would have went because I need some forgiveness for the awful things she said about people. DD said that I wasn't to be trusted. Is anyone? I try my best. Ruth is controlling, but I thought DD would act like that....I wrote to her several times, called her....and she would never return my calls or emails. I told her that since she never responded that I know what she told Ruth was true about me. I still wish we could talk this through.
Now, Ruth is a different story. I haven't talked with her since last New'years. Since then Alice had died and not a word was said about the whole situation. We don't have anything in common expect our boys. She is a user. I hope that things are better with her. I also thought of writing her an email, but I have given up hope on both of them. Now, what would Jesus do? I don't know if writing would help......it hasn't in the past. I think it would be best to move on and make new friends. This takes time, and I am finally working on it.
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